As November and National Diabetes Awareness Month close out, I see a lot of “diabetes came into my life for a reason” or “I’m grateful for having diabetes” posts. I don’t get those. I really don’t. I’m all about dealing with what life gives you. Obviously. Hence my (once again) music-themed, albeit somewhat gruesome post title.
I’m just not grateful for this disease. At all. I do not, nor will I ever, think that it came into my life for a reason. I got the short straw is what happened. Sadly, so did my daughter. I have three children including a set of twins and my daughter got type 1 diabetes (not to mention hypothyroid and Celiac disease), but her twin brother did not. I’ve had it too long. So has she. One day is too long in my not-so-humble opinion.
As a matter of fact, December 2 is not only my 51st birthday, it’s also my 41st “diaversary”. The silver lining is that I that I’ve met some really great people directly because of having type 1 diabetes. Would I have met them otherwise? Probably not, but you never know how paths cross and I would hope to still know these awesome people. I’ve met some great people by loving the rock bands Rush and Iron Maiden too – again we probably would not have met save for that fact. No offense, but I’d much rather meet people because of something I love. My life path was definitely different due to having type 1 diabetes. I took less chances. I made sure to work for corporations so that I could have health insurance. I could not have worked for myself or been a freelancer or contractor of any sort because of diabetes.
I’m sure I sound like a huge downer. I guess I am. Type 1 diabetes takes so much effort, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. No vacations. My pump site was somehow not actually connected all the way to me for about 4 hours the other day. In that time, my blood sugar got really high. I felt sick. I had a horrible headache. I could feel my breathing change. Just a short amount of time away from insulin and I was on my way very quickly to dying. To the non-Ds out there, that may sound dramatic. It’s not. It happens that quickly. Luckily, I figured it out, connected properly, and gave myself massive amounts of insulin. It still took a good 10 hours to completely get back on track.
So let me be clear: type 1 diabetes sucks. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I wish I didn’t have it. More than that, I wish my daughter didn’t have it. I worry so much about finances as I get older (and I’m no spring chicken as it is) and how in the hell will I be able to afford to stay healthy. I can afford the astronomically expensive supplies to keep myself healthy right now. I’m lucky. I know that. What about my daughter when she gets kicked off her father’s insurance? How will she be able to afford to take care of herself when I’m not around anymore? I saw how quickly my blood sugar became dangerous with a couple hours of a faulty connection. What happens to my daughter if that happens to her? I’m terrified and heartbroken when I see the stories of kids and young adults who have died because of not being able to afford insulin or healthcare itself for that matter. People go bankrupt trying to stay alive. People are urged by their insurance companies to start Go Fund Me Pages. What in the actual hell? Healthcare is a cruel, cruel joke in America.
We need a cure. We need healthcare for everyone in this country. Now.
